At the moment everything is settled. I’m going to move out
from the so called ‘sane’ world and move to a totally different world in a
couple of months time. The world which I’m
moving into is so full of intellectuals and geeks. It is supposed to be very
demanding, heart breaking, stressful and financially not rewarding.
Welcome to the world of a PhD student! So it is so hard and unforgiving,
why would I consider getting into such a life? Especially since I do not belong
into the traditional geek category (I think so). I like to read books, both
emotional tales with a sentimental value and hardcore science fiction. I like
to dance, play the guitar a bit (both I do for my pleasure and I’m quite bad at
them). I like to jog and physically exert myself. I like to do nothing and
sleep whole Sundays.
So I sometimes carefully think, why am I going to put myself
into this path? Is it because I have a very high GPA, or my father wants me to?
Or is it because my peers and seniors tell me to?
Not really. I though hard and deep, and I came to know that the
motivation is quite personal. It is the illusion if freedom. I stress the word ‘illusion’.
I know that I will hardly be free during the next 4 years. But, I will be free
from the rat race my mortal friends will engage in during the next period. I
will be free from the race to marry and raise a family for some time. I will be
free from the race to buy a car. I will be free from the workplace backstabbing.
For the next 4-5 years I will not engage in puny ‘human’ struggles. And of
course, you can afford to be a little crazy as well. Usually academics are
excused by the society to be a little eccentric. The illusion if freedom gets thinker
when I think of the time after the PhD.
But the most important thing is the lifelong learning.
People say that they are tired of learning after a mere bachelor’s degree. But I’m
not. Learning takes me to a mildly stressful situation which makes me
happy. It makes me feel special to be wandering around the edges of human
knowledge. And if I get to contribute anything useful, it would make me feel
like god.
People will laugh reading this. Some will secretly tell that
I’m already damaged. They will list all the negatives of the path I have
chosen. They forget that it is a sacrifice few people have the guts to do. I
know very well what I’m getting into. The path is perilous, full of hardships
and so few rewards. I will have to give up a certain part of being a normal
human. One of my friends laughed at me saying that he will be having a wife, two
kids and a house when I leave the university. I told him that is exactly my
plan as well.
It will be a different ball game altogether. I will be
moving into a different rat race. The rules are different, the rewards are
different and the players are super intelligent and crazy. I don’t mind getting
lost in such a place
. 
